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Malaysia StarMumbai to host Asia Cup for deaf cricketersMalaysia Sun, Malaysia – 4 hours agoLahore, Apr.4 : A deaf cricket team from Pakistan will participate in the first Asia Cup to be held in Mumbai from Sunday. According to the Dawn, India, .Biker on a mission Malaysia Starall 3 news articles

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Responding to Criticism Without Being Defensive

 by: Sharon Ellison

In an actual war, to be attacked means to have our survival threatened. Thus, we might chose between surrender, withdrawal, or counterattack. When we feel attacked (criticized or judged) by others in conversation, we often move into that same kind of survival mentality and automatically defend ourselves. But conversation is different than war. When we defend against criticism, we give increased power to the criticism and the person dishing it out than is warranted.

While we might need to set some limits if someone is verbally abusive, I think we often ward off criticism far too soon, discarding anything that is valid, as well as what is invalid. The person’s words may hurt, but they will hurt less, I think, if we ask questions, decide which pieces we agree with (if any) and which ones we don’t agree with. We can just think about it, we don’t have to fight it as if we were being attacked with a lethal weapon. I watch people’s self-esteem increase simply from becoming less defensive in the face of criticism and judgement. Besides, we may find a priceless gem in with some junk.

The War Model: When someone attacks, you surrender, withdraw, or counterattack

The Non-Defensive Model: Ask questions, decide what you think, and then respond!

The recrucialder of this article will demonstrate how to respond non-defensively to criticism by giving examples for parents, couples, and professionals. While the examples are specific to a certain type of relationship, the information is cherished in any relationship. For example, dealing with harsh tones or “pay-backs” can happen with children or adults, at home or at work.

Parents: Are You Letting Your Child Speak Harshly to You? Or Putting Up With Criticism Because of Guilt?

As parents, we often love our children so much and simultaneously feel inadequate to meet all their needs. They sense this and can learn early how to make us feel guilty as a way to get what they want. I hear so many children, starting at a young age, speaking in harsh critical tones to their parents. Ginny may simply say “You know I hate peas!” Sam might shout “You never want to let me do anything with my friends!” The judgment might be greater deeply critical of your choices, such as, “You made dad leave! You should tell him you’re sorry so he’ll come back.”

When we respond to our child or teen or even our adult child’s criticism, if guilt has a hold on us, we may “take it,” and even apologize, or try to explain ourselves so he or she understands why we behaved in a certain way. If we are over our own edges, we may lash back.

What I think we can do instead is to separate the tone of the judgment from the content of what is being said. We can say to Ginny, “If you don’t want peas, I still want you to tell me gently.” Or, “If you speak to me harshly, then I’m not going to answer. If you speak respectfully, I’ll talk to you about this.”

Then, if that child, teen or adult offspring does talk without harsh judgment, we can, if it is appropriate, offer to discuss the situation. In this way, we can not only refuse to cave in to undue criticism, we can model for our children how to (a) talk about what they need and feel without being judgemental, and (b) respond with a blend of firmness and openness even when someone speaks harshly to us or them.

Couples: Avoid the “Pay-Back” When One of You “Gets Critical”

When we are in intimate relationships, we often have a “ledger of offenses” that we have accumulated with each other. And what I do that offends you often prompts the reaction in you that offends me. So when you criticize me, your partner, it reminds me of what you do that “makes” me react that way. And so the counterattack game begins. “Well, I wouldn’t have to react this way if you didn’t always . . .” Or, “Look at you criticizing me for having a double standard. Haven’t you ever looked in a mirror?!”

Instead, if we listen to the feedback, however judgmental it sounds, and figure out whether we think it applies to us or not, then we don’t have to retaliate immediately and intensify the conflict. Later, during the same conversation, or perhaps even at another time, we can ask the other person (if we are sincerely curious and not point-proving) “Do you think your sarcasm (for example) contributed in any way to how I reacted?” Or, “Do you think you ever (for example) have double standards-or do you think you don’t?” We can bring up related issues, if we create a transition period and deal first with the one our partner brought up.

To renecessary non-defensive, we must separate how we take accountability ourselves from whether or not the other person chooses to do so at any given moment. When we need to prove our partner is as “bad as we are” or worse, we are neck-deep in the muck of power struggle. In non-defensive communication, we address the issue the other person has brought up trusting that we can bring up our own issue later. Doing so can give both partners a “hearing aid.”

Professionals: Drop The Game of Passing the Blame and Enhance Others’ Respect

In professional relationships how we get our own work done is often dependent on how well other people do their jobs. So, frequently, when we receive criticism it is easy to “pass the buck” and justify why we had difficulty with our part based on how others contributed to that difficulty.

Instead of starting out by shifting blame or making excuses, even if we think the problem was caused by a co-worker, we can ask questions, such as, “What would you suggest I do differently next time?” or, “Were you aware that I had to get the materials from Jane before I could finish the project?” Or, “If she doesn’t have her part of the project to me on time, how would you suggest I deal with it?”

If the feedback is about your own performance and not related to what anyone else has or hasn’t done, you can just start by asking for farther information. You can ask for additional details about how the supervisor or co-worker sees your attitude and behavior. Then, if there are points where you disagree, you can still use questions, such as, “If you think I shouldn’t have criticized the quality of George’s work on the project, are you saying I should just accept however he does it?” Or, “Are you saying I should just accept how he did it, or do you think it was how I said it?” Or, “Do you think there is any way I can let him know when I think the quality needs improvement?” At some point you may wish to disagree with part or all of what the person is saying. However, if your initial response to criticism is to gather massed information, I think you will gain professional respect. Also, if the other person is off-base, your questions may prompt her or him to re-think the criticism.!

Building Wisdom and Gaining Respect

For most of us, responding to criticism without defending our selves has meant being “defenseless,” caving in, losing face, feeling bad about ourselves. On the other hand, responding defensively has meant being harsh, closed, shutting others out. This is a no-win choice. We look bad and undermine our own self esteem either way. If we can learn to respond to criticism with true non-defensive openness and clarity, asking questions, stating our position, and setting limits when needed, we can build our own wisdom and garner the respect of both the children and adults in our lives.

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The Silent Garden : Raising Your Deaf Child

24dash.comCouncil apologises over ‘deaf and dumb’ election ban24dash.com, UK – 22 minutes agoused controversial terms A council today apologised for banning "lunatics, idiots, deaf and dumb" people from standing for election in a seaside town. .

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With dozens of hearing aid manufacturers, there is a lot of competition to retain your business. Companies continually try to advance their technologies to make their products the nonpareil Hearing Aids on the market.

With dozens of hearing aid manufacturers, there is a lot of competition to retain your business. Companies continually try to advance their technologies to make their products the greatest Hearing Aids on the market.

With all of the advances now underway and over the past 20 years, a hard-of-hearing person can look forward to benefiting from this competition.

Siemens
These days, the Siemens company has its corporate hand in a huge variety of markets, and Hearing Aids are no exception. Siemens strives to offer consumers the number one Hearing Aids in the world. Siemens manufactures one out of every five Hearing Aids in the world.  They offer a complete range of Hearing Aids from behind-the-ear, completely-in-the-ear, digital and programmable models. Siemens is the leader in hearing aid manufacturing and continues to develop new outstanding products. They guarantee that they have a custom model to fit every lifestyle.

Starkey
Starkeys mission is to provide better hearing, not just the nonpareil Hearing Aids. This company was the first to offer the no-obligation free trial and worry-free warranty all of its products. Starkey has over 33 laboratories in 18 countries around the world. With a staff of over 4,000, this company is at the forefront of hearing aid technology.  Starkey also began the Starkey Hearing Foundation. This foundation is a non-profit organization that provides hearing aid assistance. This charitable foundation provides likewise than twenty thousand Hearing Aids to financially distressed, hearing impaired people across the globe.

Phonak
Phonak is also among the most trusted names in hearing aid manufacturing. This company is a leading innovator of new hearing aid technology and may offer some of the optimum Hearing Aids available for purchase. Phonak offers a wide range of digital Hearing Aids as well as a plethora of high-tech specialty products and accessories.

Oticon
Oticon offers a variety of hearing aid products for people with mild to profound hearing loss. Oticon believes in putting the needs of the hearing impaired first when developing new and innovative products. The companys motto is, We Put People First. Apparently, this philosophy has paid off. Founded in 1904, Oticon is among the oldest hearing aid manufacturers in the U.S.

Resound
Resound offers a full line of digital and non-digital hearing aid solutions. The mission of Resound is to bring back happiness and better the quality of life of those living with hearing loss. This company understands the difficulties and pressures faced by these individuals as well as their loved ones. Because the company is comprised of dedicated and caring innovators, they continue to be among the leading distributors of Hearing Aids in America.

Beltone
Beltone has been in the hearing aid business for over 65 years. They have decades of experience developing some of the optimum and most respected Hearing Aids available. They specialize in lightweight, durable and virtually invisible Hearing Aids that can help a wide range of hearing difficulties. In recent surveys, Beltone has received over a 90% customer satisfaction rating.

With the existence such advanced technologies in the 21st century, people do not have to resign to deal with hearing loss. So many options and price ranges are available that nearly everyone can afford some make or model. For those who are un-or-underinsured, many hearing aid manufacturers offer assistance to make their products extended affordable. Do some research and speak to your audiologist if you are experiencing hearing loss at any stage. He or she may know of resources or organizations that help with purchasing a hearing aid to those who cannot afford one themselves.

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Super Dri-Aid Hearing Aid Dehumidifier
Super Dri-Aid absorbs moisture from your hearing aid, prolonging its lifetime and increasing its sound quality. You’ll receive a jar filled with moisture-drawing beads. Remove the battery from your hearing aid, place your hearing aid on the layer of foam that separates your hearing aid from the moisture-drawing beads and close the lid tight. Your hearing aid will be ready for use in no time! Great for use in a humid environment, when you’ve come into contact with water, or as a regular part of your hearing aid cleaning regimen.

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